Finally, the gentle, feminine solution your no no zone has been waiting for:
A new book is coming, and it will make your life slightly better!
Sometimes things suck...
But that’s why kittens, gloppy gingerbread houses, favorite mugs, cuttlefish and other disgustingly happy things exist; to comfort us in times of...suckery.
Think you can handle all 50? Order the book!
Sciency people are finding that pie improves your life.
People who’s pie levels exceed the moderate daily intake report feelings of greater overall happiness. Pie people are found to have frequent releases of happy brain chemicals, glossiness of coat, more sperms, and shinier, more compact topless cars.
Researchologists from a YouTube founded online school studied a random group of 40 double-blinded hobos and found an overwhelming correlation between chocolate cream pie and urine-free episodes.
Long term research has shown that fetuses of pie-eating mothers grow up to be importantish, well rounded adult fetuses with higher paying jobs.
Early pie intake has led to careers in upper mid level management, computery jobs, technical equipment maintenance, operational warehouse machinery supervisoring, and other reasonably respectable sounding positions.
See Pie pie chart (fg. 6.4):
The research is clear. Pie is your ticket to better health, better happiness and better hobos.
How has pie affected your life? Be sure to comment below. Opposing opinions will be deleted.